“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” - Paulo Coelho
The great monster. The preposterous taskmaster. The fear of failure, for me, has been the most intrepid beast to slay. It has turned some of my best intentions and plans, and even some of my quietest hopes, into debilitating burdens. At times a great dragon guarding a hoarded treasure that I want (or think I need), at other times a cunning serpent deterring me from exploration of possibilities, or even still the surreptitious parasite to wear me down internally.
What does this creature have to do with filling in the blanks? When I fill in my own margins? I’ve found that my typical assault on the fear of failure is always “more”. More planning and analysis (Where did I go wrong? What should I have done?). More thinking and deliberating (often through obsessively repeated sketches and footnotes). More roundabout action (working on other paintings, scrolling through social to compare my work with others’ work). And when there is an abundance of these patterns, there, too, is a complete void of rest and reflection. Avoiding failure - attempting to avoid failure - only feeds the cycle of being overcome.
By accepting my failures, and dialoguing with those I trust most, I am learning to be resolute in the face of the dragon, to brave the unknown paths despite the serpent’s presence, and to be humble when I am wearied by the parasite. Failure becomes a challenge to meet and to rise above.